The wolf has a notorious reputation. This reputation is undeserved because (as those who know will tell you) there is no record of a healthy wolf ever attacking a human being. So, if you are ever surrounded by a pack of slavering growling wolves, you can be confident in your safety... unless you hear a wet cough emanating from the back; if this happens, your number is definitely up.

The wolf is the size of a large dog, a small horse, or a circus bear with the head removed. His yellow eyes make him look especially focused, which is deceiving because wolves tend to simply wander around like idiots. They hunt in packs, of course, but this is primarily to keep any single wolf from being blamed for a failed expedition. I suppose the alpha wolf gets more than his share of the blame; and, well he should.

Wolves, you see, have a very complex society. The "alpha male"leads the pack and gets his pick of the females. He generally chooses all of them because who can tell the difference between two wolves, anyway? In wolf hierarchy, the alpha is followed by the betas; and, the betas are followed by the et ceteras. Apparently, zoologists got bored classifying wolves after "beta".

The wolf has a complex language of gestures and smells; scientists have studied their language extensively because any miscommunication between man and wolf could have tragic consequences... especially if the wolf is a sick one. Most of the "talk"between members of a pack consists of "Who the boss?", "YOU the boss!", and "Damned straight, I'm the boss!". Try constructing an Iris Murdoch novel out of conversation like that...

More important than the wolf's habits in the wild is what human beings can harvest from the animal. The wolf has a luxurious pelt; however, it is seldom grown commercially for its fur. There are three reasons for this: First, the pelt is not of the highest quality, despite how it looks on the wolf; second, it is very hard to get wolves to breed in captivity, unless you obtain a pair that are mentally ill; finally, it is well-known amongst fur-growers that the ermine, unlike the wolf, is unable to bite through a parking meter.

There were once thought to be up to four dozen wolf species; however, after checking physical characteristics, DNA, and the fact that some of the wolves were simply wearing different color hats, this number was narrowed down to about a dozen. And, I don't think that one could include the Mexican Wolf, which is, in my opinion, just a big coyote. It hardly matters anyway because the Mexican Wolf is rapidly becoming extinct... like most species of wolf.

You'd think that, being a third larger than the average dog, the wolf would be able to hold its own; however, that has not proven to be true. So the wolf continues to struggle for survival while the sycophantic Jack Russell Terrier flourishes.